1. Be mindful about who you surround yourself with.
You are the company you keep. If you are hanging around people who are down in the dumps about themselves, it will be pretty difficult expecting them to be someone in your life that will be uplifting for you.
2. Know that we have the choice to be confident and to feel good about ourselves.
It’s a total choice. So if you have allowed yourself to lack confidence, know that you can do something to change it. It’s a mindset. Many of us have different things that we don’t particularly like about ourselves. And honestly, that is normal. But remember that your physical, outside appearance is only a small portion of the Extraordinary being that you are. Your ‘Goth-Ness’ was inspired from the inside. Anything on the outside that you don’t really dig about yourself… Remember our physical bodily differences are what make us unique. That’s how we are able to visually tell each other apart! And there is a whole gang of people in the world that you may not know now, but you most likely will encounter in the future that will love every bit of you. You don’t have to feel bad about yourself. EVER. I feel that we as people only have to be aware that lack of confidence is a choice. Try your very best to not compare yourself to other people. Most women and supermodels are airbrushed anyway! You are Friggin awesome the way you are! Know that!
3. Throw negative comments people say in the trash.
Chances are, somewhere down the line, in your life… someone, some person… random or someone even close to you has said one, or more negative comment to or about you… In turn, that negative comment struck your heart, and altered your thoughts and changed your perception of yourself. It may sound simple when I mention ‘throwing negative comments people say in the trash’, but it’s about remaining true to who you are. Crabs in a bucket, do not deserve to be in your energy space. They are draining… which brings me to the next step.
4. Stay away of energy draining people.
We are all energy. Being around people who have negative energy, can cause their negative energy to start interacting and intertwining with your positive energy… causing a significant change in your mood and motivation. If they are negative as a person, they will bring you and your energy down. It’s hard to be confident in that state.
5. Some people will never get you.
Crabs in a bucket. It goes beyond being Goth. It has to do with you being who you are, and being aware of the importance of being your true self. You know who you are and why you are here. Some people will never come to realize their true identity. So, they may never be happy for you, or want to see you succeed, or excel at what you aim for in life… or reach your goals. If you are like me, as a Goth woman, we can be very sensitive. I am. I cry at the drop of a hat… And I love myself for that. I am a human being… my feelings get hurt too. I wish everyone in my life could be happy for me, as I am for them. But I know and understand that life is just not that way. Once I was able to accept that, it became easier to brush the nonsense off and keep it moving.
6. Know that being unique is amazing, and that your true self, and individuality is something fantabulous… that no one can ever take away from you.
Many people don’t have the courage to be their true selves. They may never come to realize who they are. This very well could be why they may be hating on you!
7. You are a free thinker, and that also is what makes you amazing.
It’s easy to feel confident and happy in your life and with yourself, when you are free to remain true to yourself. We will definitely be getting into this a lot more in upcoming videos.
8. Recognize and remember what first inspired you to be Goth and know that you could have been a part of anything else that is considered different, you could have gotten inspired by any other subculture and become a part of it. You are not one dimensional.
So when people give us a hard time, about how we look, and cause us to feel bad about ourselves or even doubt ourselves… Remember it is actually our courage and our own free spirit that helps keep us aligned with who we are and reminds, and encourages us to remain confident. We are brave women.
9. Understand there is no blueprint or rules to dressing Goth.
Why is this important to know? Well, because, many of us have 9-5 jobs we are working or are business owners. We are expected to “look the part” if you will. We oftentimes, have to wear office attire. And that is fine. Why? Because you can be Goth and wear office attire! Wearing office attire does not and will not make you un-Goth. You are Goth from the inside, Chica! If you love the outdoors, you can be goth and wear really cool hiking or outdoor gear that suits who you are and represents who you are, and what you like. The thing is, people get so hung up on how to LOOK Goth, but the thing is, you have to feel confident about who you are as YOU first. Then you will see that you are who you are, and no matter what you wear, or how you look, you’re still the same cool ass Goth woman on the inside. So when you read the comments in all the different Goth communities about how you have look a certain way to be Goth… You don’t have to worry about it… Why? Because that’s not what it’s about. Inspiration is where Goth is derived from… whether it be the music, the fashion… the architecture… the fiction… whatever! Whatever aspect of Goth subculture that got you inspired… It doesn’t matter. It’s your heart. You are Goth because your heart became inspired, and so Goth became an important part of who you are today. What I do is depending on the event or situation, I add elements of Goth to sprinkle into my look or outfit. And that is enough for me. Because even when I am naked in the shower… I’m still Goth!
10. What are you eating? Are you eating food that makes you feel good? Are you eating things that make you feel lousy?
You might want to start swapping out certain heavy foods for foods that bring up your energy. Food that provide important nutrients, and protein… Fruits and vegetables like strawberries, grapes and bananas… Kale. You are what you eat. Many of us love our dark clothing on the outside, but as a goth, we are free spirited. We have light on the inside that shines our confidence.
11. Know that aside from being Goth, you are a beautiful girl, a beautiful woman–inside and out.
How do I know this? Well, because you are Goth. Goth women are free spirited women who are courageous and strong people on the inside. Many of us seek change and world acceptance. We often like to express with hints of jewelry, accessories and style… who we are. Now, because we are women… Goth aside… We have to take care of ourselves, as mothers, and sisters, cousins, aunts, friends…. And in doing so, it means making sure that our spirits are high. We’ve gotta eat right, we’ve gotta constantly do a careful evaluation of who we allow ourselves to share our energy with. Who do we have in our lives, or relationships, that are not serving us? There could be family members, spouses, friends, significant others who absolutely drain our energy. Are they saying mean things to you to bring you down? Are they not uplifting you? You need to be around others that get you–other people who appreciate and love who you and who you are inside. Only then will it become easier for you to build up confidence. You’re going to find that you are going have to start making some hard life choices. You’ll have to make the choice to take yourself back–take your positive energy back from negative people… and give them their junk back. You’ve got to re-gain the ability to stand up for who you are in order to feel confident. I can tell you, it’s a very challenging thing to do, when you’ve got someone constantly pulling, and pulling at your energy and your spirit… and disempowering you.
You will prevail.
xo,
The Gothic Housewife ?
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